Without sounding like a wuss or having a pity party I just want to say that I am physically and mentally exhausted! It's the beginning of the school year which always takes some getting used too, but this year is different. Sam is in 4th grade which is kind of a step up as far as homework and effort is concerned. Also, both girls are in pre-school this year, on opposite days; meaning I drive back and forth to pre-school 5 days a week. On top of school, Sam plays football (which is a 4 day a week commitment) and I decided that the girls should have their own activity because they have been attending their brothers stuff for so long. Ballet it is... To top off the whole thing we go to AWANA on Wednesday night, which I really look forward to because I go to a women's bible study at the same time.
My great grandma passed away last week followed by my great aunt this week. When I was little my grandma was so fun... She used to let me dress up in her clothes and I used to play Star Wars with jars of beads off the mushroom-shaped foot stools in her livingroom. My great aunt (my great-Granny's daughter and my grandma's sister) was her own brand of crazy, but she was always good to me. She always remembered me at birthday's and graduation times, in fact she even came to my high school graduation. While both of their deaths were imminent, it really makes me emotional. I really haven't known anyone who has died. I know that's an anomloy at my age (33), I am still struggling with it.
My Nanny has been spreading around the advice to live each day and don't worry about tomorrow because it's not guarenteed to anyone. I keep trying to remind myself of that, it's good advice.
I need to get back to myself... I need to find a goal and aim for it... I need to set limits about what we can be involved in and when we just need to stay home. I need to go on a date with my husband and enjoy his company. I need to savor each and every minute that my kids are 3,4 & 9 because all too soon they will be big. What's the formula here? How does a stay at home mom stay sane, and why am I offended when someone asks me if I am a housewife? People ask that question like it's offensive and shameful, and I let it make me feel that way... After 5 1/2 years of being home with my kids, I don't have the answers to these questions, but I'm still looking, I haven't given up.
In the words of my mom, this too shall pass. Thanks for listening... Say a kind word to someone today, you never know how much they might need it. Now that I have vented I'm gonna get over myself and get back to life...
